Saturday, May 09, 2009

Stupefaction: Yes!

We all know it's more fun to get blitzed than to get books.

No, no. Don't argue. We know you'd like to put a good face on things, what with our choice of vocation and everything. That's sweet. You're sweet. Have we told you lately that we love you? Well, we do. But don't cue up the Barry White just yet. The sad truth is that we love booze more than you, and it's come to our attention that you love booze more than us.

And that's fine, really it is. 'Twas ever thus. However, we've got our weedy tentacles stretched to all parts of the neighborhood, and word comes back that the local bars are doin' fine! Our flying monkey corps includes employees at half a dozen area gin joints... the data keeps trickling in, but the pattern is clear: Bars seem to be recession-proof!

We find this disturbing for two reasons:

1) Bar patrons don't seem to know the end is nigh! Or, more likely, they do... and are trying to float their brain in a pool of booze as quickly as possible! But there are certainly cheaper ways to drown the bitter misery of being a thinking, feeling human organism than $10 double shots of Makers' Mark. Which leads us to conclude that:

2) If people have enough money to not mind being hosed on their way to inebriation, then they goddamn well have enough money to buy a book! Come on people! You're necking that swill as fast as biology allows, and it's only going emerge again, under pressure, from one end or the other in short order! What have you gained by the experience?

And this causes us to ask, as it should also cause you to ask: "Why do people stupefy themselves?" Or rather, since the reasons for that are myriad and often manifest, "Why is stupefaction preferred to almost every other distraction ever devised?" Now THAT is a real poser. There are some mighty fine distractions out there...

Sure, sure. We hear you. Drinking's a social thing (unless it isn't). You pay a hefty markup at a bar, but look- there are all your pals! And ooohh la la! The saucy ladies! And the sexy mans! No saucy ladies or sexy mans back in your lonely hovel with your value-sized jug of corn squeezins, no siree!

But if you thought it was all about friends and sexual liasons (often with soon to be ex-friends), then you thought wrong! Ok, actually you didn't. It IS all about those things. The id unleashed. The orderlies knocked unconscious and the inmates running the asylum. Glorious Dionysian frenzy! A slap and a tickle and a hug and a cuddle and watch out stomach, here it comes!!! Phew. Got carried away there!

If you've followed this river of thought as it empties into the Sea of Conclusion, you'll already know what we've decided. Until book shops can offer you, at the very least, a dose of Thuderbird and a grimly stained mattress to writhe upon, we don't stand a chance.

So we've already instituted some changes. If you stroll by the old Spine and Crown and spot a sign on the door that says, " Back in 10 Minutes," don't be fooled. The upstairs is just rented out, that's all. Maybe we're simply getting coffee- but maybe we're getting PAID. How else are we going to afford a pitcher when it's our round?


Maybe we downplayed the Yelp thing a little too much last week. Writing a review for us will potentially be a great help. People who know nothing of Seattle read things like Yelp before coming to town. We want them to know we're cooking gooses down here at S&C, and they can get theirs cooked just like everybody else. We're also hauling ashes, so if you'd like to get your ashes hauled, speak up! We may even turn your damper down!

Spine and Crown on Yelp


This week:

All items mentioned below are first come, first serve. If you want something, let us know post-haste (because they're also for sale on the interweb)! All new items sell for cover price, used items as marked. Sadly, trade credit cannot be used for new items.

Our books are always searchable via ABEbooks.


Why Do Men Stupefy Themselves?, Leo Tolstoy.
(Paperback, out of print)

Isn't this what we were just talking about? What are the chances that some Russian dude would rush out a book on the same topic? Great minds, right? Hey, if Tolstoy wants to bite our material, who are we to complain? We'll take it as a complement, Leo! Backatcha!

($20) [Sold]


Child of God
, Cormac McCarthy.
(Paperback, first PB edition)

In our continuing quest to feature a Cormac McCarthy item each and every week, we offer the first paperback edition of Child of God, McCarthy's third novel. It's the story of Lester Ballard, necrophile, arsonist, and murderer. If we could have thought of a fancy word for cave-dweller, we'd have added that as well. Supposedly based on real stuff that happened back in Great Depression I. Not to be confused with Great Depression II.



How to Get a Teen-Age Boy & What to Do With Him When You Get Him
, Ellen Peck.
(Mass market paperback, first printing)

Another one of those "title says it all" books. This one's for the ladies, because the next one is definitely for the fellows. And yes, that is Cheryl Tiegs on the cover.



The Imp, No. 4: Historietas Perversas, Daniel K. Raeburn.

Prison rape, eyeballs gouged out with fingers, and a guy being beaten to death with stiletto heels. That's all in here, along with a full exploration of the industry. See, south of the border, they've got a thriving comics business that makes las telenovelas look tame. Sexist, shameless, and gloriously incomprehensible. Well, unless you read Spanish. But don't bother learning another language; we're pretty sure that one-handed reading is universal.

($35) [Sold]


Who Wants a Cheap Rhinoceros?, Uncle Shelby (Shel Silverstein).
(Hardcover, first edition)

We all do, but Craigslist is fresh out. This copy is from 1964, before they started putting Silverstein's name on the cover. It's a little beat and lacking the dust jacket, but copies with jacket are extremely scarce. About as scarce as cheap rhinoceri. Sniff, sniff...



Mysterious Roar from Faraway Space Detected


Everything's turning into a pile of shit.

Except this.


This IS a species worth saving!


# of weeks since Spine and Crown inception: 183

# of weeks since inception that no mention of Spine and Crown has appeared in the print edition of The Stranger: 183


Post a Comment

<< Home